You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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