jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
