giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
