Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
