Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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