did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
