Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
The Olympian is in my bed
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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