dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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