**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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