dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
