I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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