How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
