i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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