I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm too high and old for this...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize