as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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