you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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