I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
