i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
