can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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