how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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