just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
