So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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