can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
