hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
