Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I did not marry a roomba.
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