It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
