We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
