I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
