Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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