Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
