with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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