you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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