"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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