Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
