ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
