just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
