hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
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