shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
