Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
