I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
