Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
