I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize