I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
