Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
