I wannas sexs uuuuu
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
