Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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