I need to stop coming to work sober
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
