She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
