Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize