Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
How external is "for external use only"?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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