if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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