No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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