Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You made out with two different species that night
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
