I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
