I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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