we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
