I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
