Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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