I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
