We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
