how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
