I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize