I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
