Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
