I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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